I have a new favorite thing to do.
Watching Tennis!
However it’s not for the same reasons as everyone else. Well maybe a little bit, we all want to see Andy Murray win Wimbledon and have a Brit lift that extremely expensive serving tray aloft. But my motives for watching Wimbledon are unfortunately not as admirable as that.
I now enjoy Tennis mainly for the officials who shout “OUT!”
OK, so that sounds a little odd, but bear with me here. Watch some of Wimbledon and wait until one of them shouts it. It never, ever sounds like they’re saying “OUT!” it sounds more like an outburst someone might make after something unfortunate has happened to them. I took great pleasure in assigning scenarios to each “OUT!” that occurred.
Of course not content with this I had to involve my good pal Alex in this via text. Here’s some of the best ones we came up with:
- Someone’s just opened a can of coke that has been shaken up and it’s sprayed everywhere.
- Someone’s dropped an ice cube down the back of someones T-Shirt.
- Someone’s just told an offensive joke.
- Someone’s been startled by a bee.
- Someone’s just been dumped via text message.
- Someone thought two pigeons were about to collide mid air.
- Someone has fallen asleep and woken up with a start.
- Someones just seen that magic trick where they cut off their finger with a guillotine.
- Someones just bitten into a sandwich and cracked their tooth on a bit of glass.
- Someones remembered they have an unfinished mars ice cream in their bag.
- Someones just seen someone they know but they have a mouth full of food and shout anyway.
OK so they weren’t just the best ones, that was all the ones we came up with. we probably would have came up with more but I had to go and watch Transformer 2, which coincidentally was reasonable, but could have most defiantly been better.
So that’s how I spent most of my day anyway. But unemployment is depressing, so I’m just doing what I need to do in order to stop myself falling into a pit of despair. If that means using the vocals of tennis officials for my own amusement, then so be it.
